Grabbing a quick bite to eat....

"You've got to be kidding me!?" " What was I thinking?"  "Sha-Right!!"   "You can't be serious!?"   These were all thoughts that were racing through my head as Michael and I ran into our local KFC restaurant today.  I thought, "We'll just grab a quick bite to eat."  Yeah.  Right.  NOTHING happens quickly in India.  No joke.  We ordered popcorn chicken and some sort of chicken strips.  Truthfully, they were not bad.  Much MUCH spicier then their American look-alike but not bad & the children have really learned to adapt and go with the "spice" of things so that doesn't bother them either.

What DID become a bother was waiting in line for our food for over 20 minutes.  Oh, I wish I were kidding and this visit to KFC also reminded me why we NEVER eat at fast food chains here.  They are NOT fast, the food is not good, it's nothing like home and lastly, unlike home where it is convenient to grab fast food on the "fly" here in India that couldn't be further from the truth.  There is no drive-thru window where you just yap into the speaker what you would like to eat, you always have to go inside of the eating establishment to order.  Wait in ridiculous long lines and did I mention....they are NOT fast! ;0)  Not the taking of your order.  Not the processing of your payment.  Not the making of your food.  From start to finish.....Slow, SLOW, S L O W!! Yep!  Which is okay.  I know this and I should have known better than to take poor little hungry and tired Michael into KFC with me thinking, "We'll just grab something real quick like".  It was not one of my finer moments that I have had here in India when in desparation I asked the lady that had taken our order, "Where is our food?!"  She replied, "Four minutes."  "WHAT!?  You told me it would take Five minutes and that was 10 minutes ago."  "Yes, Ma'am.  Four minutes."  "I just don't understand!?!  How long does it take to fry chicken for Heaven's sake?!  You throw it in a vat of oil and it is done in a FLASH!"  "Four minutes, Ma'am."  At this point I put my feather's down and realized - It doesn't do any good to get upset.  It won't cook my chicken any faster.  This is just how things work here.  SLOWLY!!!  And then I also thought to myself, "JEN!  Do you realize you are turning into a crazy person bc you want your KFC chicken!?  Who wants KFC that badly!?!?"  Arghhh...Ashamed! ;0)

Luckily, with so much time spent waiting, I was able to become completely educated in the "Indian School of Lickonomics!"  ;0)

 

We had been shopping all morning and I thought it seemed like a good idea at the time.  By the time we finally got some food to eat - Michael was holding back tears.  He was so frustrated.  Couldn't understand what took so long and he was sooooo hungry! 

Not crying yet but pretty darn close!

Curry Crunch, Anyone!?

Leopard on the Loose!

So, I know you've heard the statement, "Lions and Tigers and Bears...Oh my!"  Although, at times, living in India can feel like some sort of "Oz-like" dream, we would have to change that chant to, "Scorpions, Cobras and Leopards....Oh my!"  The latest CRAZZZZYYYYY thing that is going on in our world is that there have been multiple potential sightings of a leopard in the area.  When our friend told us, "Guys!  I know this is going to sound crazy, but I think I just saw a leopard!"  truthfully, we did think it sounded a bit crazy UNTIL we saw the newspaper the next day that confirmed there have been other possible sightings in the area of a leopard!  Even the villagers are frightened!  Read the article below for all the scoop on our local leopard who might be lurking around the corner!

http://www.bangaloremirror.com/index.aspx?page=article&sectid=1&contentid=20121208201212080650438394aa0b65b


I used to just come inside around dusk to avoid the mosquitoes but now we'll add "avoid being attacked by a leopard" to that list as well!  Currently, our mosquito situation is out of control!  We still have the "Mosquito Man" that comes around with a leaf-blower-esque contraption that sprays the mosquito killing fog off the back of his bicycle (you might remember I referenced him in a prior post) but for some reason we are being overtaken by these blood sucking insects!  When I walk out my front door there are literally HUNDREDS (I'm not even exaggerating...wish I was!) of mosquitoes hanging out on the walls and the roof above me!

EW!!!  Yes!  Those are ALL mosquitoes!!

THEY ARE INSANE!  We have malaria in India but I have not come into contact with anyone in Bangalore that has actually had malaria.  There have been a lot of cases recently of dengue fever in Bangalore.  Some people call it "breakbone fever" because of the intense joint and muscle pain that often accompanies dengue.  I had a friend tell me that the mosquitoes that bite during the day are the the dengue mosquitoes and the ones that bite during the night are the malaria mosquitoes.  Not sure if that's true or not but found it interesting nonetheless.

Our weather is starting to get colder but unlike the US we will not have a frost so there is no hope of that "first frost" to do its  lethal job.  My friend, Glynns, took the picture below in her yard of a tennis ball that was covered in mosquitoes!  ACK!
Freaky Beasts!!!

Maybe because the tennis ball is nice and furry it's like a little "Buggy Blanket" for the mosquitoes now that it's getting colder out!? 

 When you see the haze - You know the Mosquito Man is in the area!

Didn't walk fast enough & got caught in the Mosquito Man's "FOG!"  Arghh!  It smells so bad!!

Faster than a speeding bullet...It's the Mosquito Man!  (Too bad that car got in the way of my photo!!)

There he goes in a fog of glory! ;0)

Oh noooOooo!  The Mosquito Man caught us in the middle of our dinner!  TAKE COVER!!

Never Fear!  Matt figured out a way to hide from the Mosquito Man and continue eating! :0)

All I know is that I will continue to follow my current protocol which has always been to stay inside when dusk is approaching.  Now it will serve a twofold purpose, avoid mosquito bites that could potentially make me very ill and elude a concealed cat!  I am glad the Mosquito Man will also continue to actively pursue the mosquitoes and attempt to slay them with his toxic insect exhaust!!  Maybe the forest department can do something about our little kitty cat problem too!?  :0)

My little Quest for Q-tips!!!

When we came to India in August 2011,  we arrived with 18 checked bags, 6 carry-ons, one pocketbook and one briefcase.  We waited for 6 weeks and then a shipment of stuff that was sent by air made it to India.  But it wasn't until our things that were sent by sea arrived that we were truly "Over the Moon" excited!  Although our sea shipment arrived just in time for Halloween, it felt like Christmas!  Never had you seen a group of individuals so excited about opening boxes containing items such as:  Smucker's Strawberry Preserves, Nestle Quik Powder, Cheez-its, Lucky Charms, Goldfish crackers, Hanover's Pretzels....I could go on for hours but I will spare you! :0)  Although we hit up our local Bj's Wholesale Club multiple times before embarking on our journey to India, some of those items only lasted a couple days. Others a bit longer and believe it or not, some of the  "staple" items we brought with us are STILL being used!

One of the things I ran out of a couple days ago was my jumbo, extensive, mammoth, immense, strapping, COLOSSAL collection of Q-tips!!!  In all honesty, I never really thought much about them.  Well.  Until a couple of days ago, anyhow.  We've been dipping into our stash for over a year and I never really thought two-toots about the nice, soft, cottony swabs that I was sticking in my ears.  Shoot!  I even had a rainbow assortment at one point.  Pink.  Green.  Purple.  Blue.  When we finished one box we just opened another!  I'm not even going to bother to do the math (because that never was really my forte) but if someone is so inclined to figure out roughly how many Q-tips our family of six has gone through in the last year and three months - Well, knock yourself out.  I got as far as thinking.  Two tips per person per day.  So that's twelve Q-tips daily.  Math wizards - You take over from here.  All I know is that it is A LOT of Q-tips!!

So, ANYHOOOO!  As I was saying, this week much to my shock and awe - WE RAN OUT OF Q-TIPS!  I literally was in denial.  I guess I was expecting the Q-tips to just keep replenishing themselves forever.  You know, kinda like how the Israelites had unlimited manna from Heaven!?  Yeah, well, my hygenic manna just ran out!  :0/  I was shuffling through bins of various other items that we still have stockpiled and wouldn't you know it - I finally had to give up and realized, we really were OUT
of Q-tips.  Gone.  Done.  Liquidated.  Spent.  I can tell that some of you are sitting there thinking, "So?  What's the big HAIRY deal!?"  Very good question!  It's a big HAIRY deal because I KNEW it was going to be an ordeal finding them and typically when I notice we are running low in one of our store houses - I plan ahead so that when we ACTUALLY run out of something - I have a back-up in place. 

(As a sidenote, we ran out of our favorite bars of soap MONTHS ago and I'm still trying to find a "bar" that we like.  Arghhh.  I've tried everything from English Lavendar bars of soap to bars of soap that claim to be refreshing, deoderizing and cleansing and I have found them to be lacking in every regard.  We miss you Irish Spring!)

So, when I ran out of the Q-tips I knew I was in trouble.  Yep.  I was.  I know it might not seem like that big of a deal but I've been looking for two days now for Q-tips!  I had an exchange in one store (kinda the Indian equivalent of a CVS) with a store worker that went something like this:   "Yes, Ma'am, Can I help you?"  "Yes" I said, "I need Q-tips."  Just like a confused puppy she cocked her head to one side and then said, "Q-tips, Ma'am?!"  To which I replied,  "Yes.  You know.  A stick.  With cotton on the ends of it?"  Hmmmm....I'm still getting the puzzled puppy look.  So I took it to the next level & you'd have thought I was playing charades for a million dollars with the way I began to "act" out Q-tips for this woman!  Hahaha!  I touched my index finger to my thumb.  Same motion with the other hand.   I'm standing there with my index fingers and thumbs together sliding them horizontally in and out trying to show "stick".  "Stick.  You know, stick?"  "Stick, Ma'am?!"  "YES!  STICK! With cotton on the ends.  Q-tips?!"  "Cotton, Ma'am"  "Yes!!  YES!! Cotton on the end of a stick."  (Oh Geesh!  Who am I kidding!?  I was doing a horrible job explaining a Q-tip!)  Ah hah!  I know!  We need more gestures.  So I proceeded to stick my finger in my ear and twist it around and around like I was cleaning my ear.  "Q-tip!?"  Hmmm....She's still not following me.  "Ooh!  Cotton Swab?!  You know COTTON SWAB?!"  Maybe I just needed a "same as - only sounds different" type signal?!  I thought saying the word, "cotton swab" was going to be the magic key that unlocked the door.  Maybe the word "Q-tip" was what had her so confused.  Nope.  She looked at me with a dumb-founded look that suggested:   "Ma'am might be mentally ill" and then she did it.  She politely gave me the Indian head bobble.  Smiled and said, "Uh.  No, Ma'am".  I know it.  I know she thought I was crazy.  She didn't say it but I saw it in her eyes & when she bobbled at me I knew I had failed.  Argghhhhh!

I turned for the door and let myself out of the shop.  Drat.  No Q-tips.  So, literally when Matt said, "What's on the 'List' for today" - I simply said, "Q-tips."  Yep, that's pretty much all I was hoping to accomplish today.  TWO additional shops later, filled with more charades & pantomimes, puzzlement & perplexity, I FINALLY found Q-tips!  "HALLELUJAH!  HALLELUJAH!  HALLELUJAH!  HALLELUJAH!  HALLELUJAH!"    Not terribly surprising though, I found them on my own.  Clearly, I have ZERO skills in the art of charades.  Everyone I asked gave me the same "look" and the same answer, "No, Ma'am.  Sorry!"  Well, By George!  India DOES have Q-tips!  According to the package they are called "Cotton Bulbs".  That could have been my difficulty all along, aye?!?!  I was just calling them the by the wrong name!  I'm learnin'.  I'm learnin'!  It's all good!  And I just sent Matt a text message with the good news of my accomplishment for the day and his reply!?  "SSSWWWWEEEEETTT!" Yep.  He's pretty excited too!  It's the little things afterall, isn't it?!