Today was a very emotionally tiring day. Our staff arrives every morning at 10:30 sharp. Today was the first day that Salomi and Shashi have ever been late. I should have known something was wrong by the time on the clock; however, I am an eternal optimist so I wasn't worrying about them. Shashi, our maid, was the first one in the door and I could tell immediately by the expression on her face that something was wrong. I said, "Are you okay?!" and she said, "Ma'am, It's Salomi. Someone stole Salomi's bag. All her money. It's gone! Her id card. They took it." "Where? On the bus?!" "Yes, Yes Ma'am just now on the bus!" Shashi had no sooner spilled these short details then Salomi came walking into the kitchen. Clearly she had been crying. I said, "Salomi. Someone stole your bag?" (Mind you when I say "bag" we're not talking a Gucci/Coach designer bag. We're literally talking a bag - As in plastic...Wal-Mart/Target type bag!) The flood gates opened. Oh my Gosh! It was the saddest most pitiful thing. She burst into the most uncontrollable heart wrenching sobs. I got her a tissue, gave her a hug and then went out to find our driver, Cladius, to see if he had anymore information because poor Salomi was a WRECK and couldn't even speak! It was even worse than I had guessed. Her sobs were all about the money. I had paid her her salary the night before for the month of November and she had brought additional money with her because she had a debt she is trying to pay off and was supposed to be meeting up with that person to make a payment. She wasn't concerned about her id card. According to Cladius the thief would have just thrown that away and kept the cash. (Not like the US where we would be worrying about identity theft on top of the missing cash.) I'm not sure who she owes her debt to but I know she's been having "house" troubles and has moved out and is in a different place now.
Anyhow, I literally couldn't even be in the same room with her without joining in on the crying. My heart just broke for her. My poor Salomi. She's become family to us. When she's sad. I'm sad. When she's happy. I'm happy. She's such a bright spirit and typically full of happiness and joy. She's such an easy laugher and if I didn't love her for being such a kind and caring person - I would love her solely on the basis of she thinks I'm funny! Hahahah! She LOVES my stories and whenever I tell her and Shashi events in my day they laugh and laugh. They laugh at me trying to figure things out here in India and when I tell them about the adventures or dilemmas I encounter while I've been in town the literally howl. Sometimes wiping away tears laughing. So, let's be honest. I know I'm not THAT funny but Indian people in general I have found to be very lighthearted and they laugh at the goofiest stuff (stuff that I would think was too cheesy, corny or just down right, NOT funny.....THEY LAUGH and LAUGH!) So, typically, Shashi, Salomi and I have very light hearted days. Smiling. Laughing days. NOT TODAY. Wow! What a dark, gloomy cloud that stood hanging over my kitchen when My Salomi was sooo sad.
I literally had to leave the house because I was in an emotional tailspin and I knew I wouldn't be able to regain my composure if I stayed at the house with them. I gave her a parting hug. Told her, "Don't worry. Please stop crying. You're breaking my heart. I will talk to Sir (aka Matt) and we'll try to help you if we can." She still didn't speak. But a simple nod of the head and a little up turned corner of her mouth where there used to be a big white toothed smile just the slightest sign of hope spread across her face. I know how that is - You're trying so hard to keep you composure that if you say a single word the flood gates just open again. I've always marvelled at people that start to "lose it" and then can somehow take a mental step backwards, refocus and move forward. Newp. Once I start to cry, I'm one of those sobbing blubbering types that my voice goes all squeaky high and you can't understand what I'm saying but what's the point - I've started. I can't stop it and so I just have to plow through the tears and the squeaky voice. (It's truly one of the things I wish I could "change".) I hate that I'm so emotionally charged. I hate that I cry at the drop of a hat. It's my universal emotion. Cry for happiness. Cry in anger. Cry in sadness. Cry when I'm tired. GOOD GRIEF! It's truly the most embarrassing thing and I HATE it but alas you cannot control the sea - I cannot control my tear ducts! Hahaha!
So, after slipping out of the house, I talked to Matt on the phone. He, being the more rational and less emotional one, although he felt terrible for Salomi, he did ask the burning question, "Do you think she's lying?" Sadly. It's a question you have to ask here. People get burned by their staff all the time. You open your heart and for one reason or another (because they can, because they are needful, because they are desperate, because they have no other place to turn) they can take advantage of you. In my heart of hearts, I believe Salomi. 99%. There is that small chance that she might be "one of those people" that will take advantage but I have to believe that even if that were the case (which I don't think it is) God put Salomi in our lives. We are blessed to have her. In such a short time my heart is so full of love for her and if I knew she was lying that would be sooooo hurtful but if she needs help we will do all we can to watch out for her and take good care of her while we are here. AND! IF she was making all of this up - SHOOT GIRL! Forget cooking! Get out of the kitchen Girlfriend, Bollywood NEEDS you! You got some CRAZY ridiculous MAD acting skills!
Matt's advice was, "Try to talk to her about it when you get home and see if the story makes sense and if it's still the same story you heard the first time around." When I got home, I had had enough time to compose myself and was able to walk into the kitchen like a Steady Betty and say, "So, how are you doing Salomi?" Immediately, the eyes well up. "Okay. Ma'am." Meanwhile, Cladius is hovering at the back window waiting for his tea. Apparently, Salomi makes a mean cup of tea and he gladly waits at the back window for her to prepare it for him. They have a great relationship - She has nicknamed him "Cladi-o" and also calls him "Adda" or maybe it's pronounced "Ana" - It means "Brother". I LOVE THAT! I have great help! In my mind it's like him arriving at her kitchen window and her being like "Yo! My brother! What up!? Tea?!" You hear all the time about how people's staff don't get along and don't like each other. God was good and I'm so thankful. Claudius, Salomi, Shashi and I are a TEAM and we all work great together. MAN! I LOVE THEM!
So anyhow, after I've asked Salomi how she's doing, she's tearing up again, Cladius steps in and says, "Our Salomi is so sad today!?!?" She nods her pretty little head in agreement trying to keep it all together. I ask her some more of the details to her story. In her words between sniffles and tear management she told me, "The bus was too busy today. I wasn't paying attention." You can see the look of disappointment in herself. The look of "I should have known better." In her defense, even the most vigilent mind would probaby struggle to maintain their wits on the bus. You've truly got to see it to believe the sheer amount of people that fit into an Indian public transportation bus is absolutely shocking! Cladius told me that people used to hold onto the outside and climb up and sit on top as well but I guess they don't let them do that anymore. So while she was holding onto the handle, her plastic bag was resting just inside the pocket of her purse and someone snatched it. When the bus stopped outside our gate and she and Shashi went to give the security guards their id cards to enter into our development this is when she realised her bag was GONE. Contacting the police is hopeless. Poor Salomi. Cladius also said that thieves would be paying special attention and hoping to get "lucky" knowing that people would have just gotten paid.
After talking with Cladius and getting the story again from Salomi, it just seemed like the right thing to do to "bail her out." I was trying to figure out what was the right way of going about doing it. I knew she'd be so grateful but also probably feel she didn't really know what to do or say and I didn't want to put pressure on her that she had to "react" to us giving her the money. I had thought of giving it to her at the end of the night when she was leaving so she could kind of just accept it and slip out the door but then I also started to think that wasn't ideal because then her poor heart would be so heavy and so full of worry all day. THEN! I got an idea!
I have been getting our house all decorated for Christmas. Salomi and Shashi keep walking around and saying, "Oh Ma'am so pretty. Very pretty Ma'am." I've got my Christmas tunes jamming and wondering if they think I'm a crazy women when I can no longer contain myself and have to chime in with the music and do a little BELLOWING of my own. While washing dishes one day, Salomi said to me, "Ma'am. I love these Holiday songs." So cute! I think I even caught her singing along to "Last Christmas" at one point! Which would be GREAT! I hope she finds her inner diva and starts belting it out with me so I'm not the only one singing in the house! ;0)
So, I found myself a pretty purple envelope and a matching sparkly note card and I wrote on the inside,
"Dear Salomi. Santa came early this year! Love, Jen" and I left it on the kitchen countertop.
She came into the living room where I was Jingle Bell Rockin' and said, "Thank you Ma'am. You are such a good Ma'am (hehehe). I am so lucky to be working with your family. I'm so sorry to be causing you so much trouble. Thank you Ma'am." OH GOOD GRIEF! Tears. Again. I can't take it! I need peace, love and harmony. No more sad moments. When she said, "I'm sorry to be causing you such trouble." That's when I lost it again. "Are you kidding me?! You're not causing me any trouble! I love you and I'm so glad you are here. When you are sad. I am sad. When you are happy I am happy." With that we both needed a moment to "gather ourselves" and she retreated into the kitchen and I went back to putting up Christmas decorations and promptly walked over to the ipod to dj up a happy tune.... Hmmmm... No sadness allowed. Gotta find a happy tune. Instinctively, my fingers searched for Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas". When that puppy comes blowin through the speakers....Well, that's a turn it up, shake your bon-bon - Feelin groovy kinda song and it was just what I needed to chase the blues away.
I teased Salomi when she left telling her, "Better day tomorrow, Salomi!?" "Yes, Ma'am!" "Be safe on the ride home and don't let the bad guys get ya!" (Not funny, right!?.....Laughing and laughing! I told ya she was an easy laugher!) Night-Night all.
Anyhow, I literally couldn't even be in the same room with her without joining in on the crying. My heart just broke for her. My poor Salomi. She's become family to us. When she's sad. I'm sad. When she's happy. I'm happy. She's such a bright spirit and typically full of happiness and joy. She's such an easy laugher and if I didn't love her for being such a kind and caring person - I would love her solely on the basis of she thinks I'm funny! Hahahah! She LOVES my stories and whenever I tell her and Shashi events in my day they laugh and laugh. They laugh at me trying to figure things out here in India and when I tell them about the adventures or dilemmas I encounter while I've been in town the literally howl. Sometimes wiping away tears laughing. So, let's be honest. I know I'm not THAT funny but Indian people in general I have found to be very lighthearted and they laugh at the goofiest stuff (stuff that I would think was too cheesy, corny or just down right, NOT funny.....THEY LAUGH and LAUGH!) So, typically, Shashi, Salomi and I have very light hearted days. Smiling. Laughing days. NOT TODAY. Wow! What a dark, gloomy cloud that stood hanging over my kitchen when My Salomi was sooo sad.
I literally had to leave the house because I was in an emotional tailspin and I knew I wouldn't be able to regain my composure if I stayed at the house with them. I gave her a parting hug. Told her, "Don't worry. Please stop crying. You're breaking my heart. I will talk to Sir (aka Matt) and we'll try to help you if we can." She still didn't speak. But a simple nod of the head and a little up turned corner of her mouth where there used to be a big white toothed smile just the slightest sign of hope spread across her face. I know how that is - You're trying so hard to keep you composure that if you say a single word the flood gates just open again. I've always marvelled at people that start to "lose it" and then can somehow take a mental step backwards, refocus and move forward. Newp. Once I start to cry, I'm one of those sobbing blubbering types that my voice goes all squeaky high and you can't understand what I'm saying but what's the point - I've started. I can't stop it and so I just have to plow through the tears and the squeaky voice. (It's truly one of the things I wish I could "change".) I hate that I'm so emotionally charged. I hate that I cry at the drop of a hat. It's my universal emotion. Cry for happiness. Cry in anger. Cry in sadness. Cry when I'm tired. GOOD GRIEF! It's truly the most embarrassing thing and I HATE it but alas you cannot control the sea - I cannot control my tear ducts! Hahaha!
So, after slipping out of the house, I talked to Matt on the phone. He, being the more rational and less emotional one, although he felt terrible for Salomi, he did ask the burning question, "Do you think she's lying?" Sadly. It's a question you have to ask here. People get burned by their staff all the time. You open your heart and for one reason or another (because they can, because they are needful, because they are desperate, because they have no other place to turn) they can take advantage of you. In my heart of hearts, I believe Salomi. 99%. There is that small chance that she might be "one of those people" that will take advantage but I have to believe that even if that were the case (which I don't think it is) God put Salomi in our lives. We are blessed to have her. In such a short time my heart is so full of love for her and if I knew she was lying that would be sooooo hurtful but if she needs help we will do all we can to watch out for her and take good care of her while we are here. AND! IF she was making all of this up - SHOOT GIRL! Forget cooking! Get out of the kitchen Girlfriend, Bollywood NEEDS you! You got some CRAZY ridiculous MAD acting skills!
Matt's advice was, "Try to talk to her about it when you get home and see if the story makes sense and if it's still the same story you heard the first time around." When I got home, I had had enough time to compose myself and was able to walk into the kitchen like a Steady Betty and say, "So, how are you doing Salomi?" Immediately, the eyes well up. "Okay. Ma'am." Meanwhile, Cladius is hovering at the back window waiting for his tea. Apparently, Salomi makes a mean cup of tea and he gladly waits at the back window for her to prepare it for him. They have a great relationship - She has nicknamed him "Cladi-o" and also calls him "Adda" or maybe it's pronounced "Ana" - It means "Brother". I LOVE THAT! I have great help! In my mind it's like him arriving at her kitchen window and her being like "Yo! My brother! What up!? Tea?!" You hear all the time about how people's staff don't get along and don't like each other. God was good and I'm so thankful. Claudius, Salomi, Shashi and I are a TEAM and we all work great together. MAN! I LOVE THEM!
So anyhow, after I've asked Salomi how she's doing, she's tearing up again, Cladius steps in and says, "Our Salomi is so sad today!?!?" She nods her pretty little head in agreement trying to keep it all together. I ask her some more of the details to her story. In her words between sniffles and tear management she told me, "The bus was too busy today. I wasn't paying attention." You can see the look of disappointment in herself. The look of "I should have known better." In her defense, even the most vigilent mind would probaby struggle to maintain their wits on the bus. You've truly got to see it to believe the sheer amount of people that fit into an Indian public transportation bus is absolutely shocking! Cladius told me that people used to hold onto the outside and climb up and sit on top as well but I guess they don't let them do that anymore. So while she was holding onto the handle, her plastic bag was resting just inside the pocket of her purse and someone snatched it. When the bus stopped outside our gate and she and Shashi went to give the security guards their id cards to enter into our development this is when she realised her bag was GONE. Contacting the police is hopeless. Poor Salomi. Cladius also said that thieves would be paying special attention and hoping to get "lucky" knowing that people would have just gotten paid.
After talking with Cladius and getting the story again from Salomi, it just seemed like the right thing to do to "bail her out." I was trying to figure out what was the right way of going about doing it. I knew she'd be so grateful but also probably feel she didn't really know what to do or say and I didn't want to put pressure on her that she had to "react" to us giving her the money. I had thought of giving it to her at the end of the night when she was leaving so she could kind of just accept it and slip out the door but then I also started to think that wasn't ideal because then her poor heart would be so heavy and so full of worry all day. THEN! I got an idea!
I have been getting our house all decorated for Christmas. Salomi and Shashi keep walking around and saying, "Oh Ma'am so pretty. Very pretty Ma'am." I've got my Christmas tunes jamming and wondering if they think I'm a crazy women when I can no longer contain myself and have to chime in with the music and do a little BELLOWING of my own. While washing dishes one day, Salomi said to me, "Ma'am. I love these Holiday songs." So cute! I think I even caught her singing along to "Last Christmas" at one point! Which would be GREAT! I hope she finds her inner diva and starts belting it out with me so I'm not the only one singing in the house! ;0)
So, I found myself a pretty purple envelope and a matching sparkly note card and I wrote on the inside,
"Dear Salomi. Santa came early this year! Love, Jen" and I left it on the kitchen countertop.
She came into the living room where I was Jingle Bell Rockin' and said, "Thank you Ma'am. You are such a good Ma'am (hehehe). I am so lucky to be working with your family. I'm so sorry to be causing you so much trouble. Thank you Ma'am." OH GOOD GRIEF! Tears. Again. I can't take it! I need peace, love and harmony. No more sad moments. When she said, "I'm sorry to be causing you such trouble." That's when I lost it again. "Are you kidding me?! You're not causing me any trouble! I love you and I'm so glad you are here. When you are sad. I am sad. When you are happy I am happy." With that we both needed a moment to "gather ourselves" and she retreated into the kitchen and I went back to putting up Christmas decorations and promptly walked over to the ipod to dj up a happy tune.... Hmmmm... No sadness allowed. Gotta find a happy tune. Instinctively, my fingers searched for Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas". When that puppy comes blowin through the speakers....Well, that's a turn it up, shake your bon-bon - Feelin groovy kinda song and it was just what I needed to chase the blues away.
I teased Salomi when she left telling her, "Better day tomorrow, Salomi!?" "Yes, Ma'am!" "Be safe on the ride home and don't let the bad guys get ya!" (Not funny, right!?.....Laughing and laughing! I told ya she was an easy laugher!) Night-Night all.
Oh Man - the sea of emotion must run in the family!!! I can laugh, cry, and even manage a snort laugh while I read your posts. That was so neat how you were able to help her, and even if she is lying - God knows that too. He will bless you for your love for others and compassion that you show towards them. I sure miss my Choochie!
ReplyDeleteWow, that had to be a tough day! I am sure she was thankful for your kindness. Hopefully things are looking a little brighter for everyone. Love your sweet note - "Dear Salomi. Santa came early this year! Love, Jen"
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