Don't Drink The Water!

Yep, it's no joke.  Whilst in India...unless you are a FOO (a CRAZY fool!) don't drink the water.  Ever.  We use bottled water for everything.  We have water coolers in every bedroom as well as the kitchen.  It might be overkill but we haven't brushed our teeth with anything but bottled water since we got here!  (Actually, double check with Matt on that one.  I'm pretty sure he claims to be "An Oak" so I think he uses the tap water on his teef (yes, I meant to say teef.) but he's NUTS!  The rest of us "Saplings" are not taking any chances!

Yep.  Even the kids have become teeth brushing pros.  At first it was very hard to remember not to use the sink water.  Initially, I would put a washcloth over the faucet when the kids were brushing so that they would remember NOT to use that water.  When we first got here and we were living in the hotel I used to sound like an old scratched vinyl record while the kids were brushing their teeth or taking a shower I'd be yapping in the background at them the same old phrases....every SINGLE time... "Don't open your mouth in there.  I'm not kidding....Don't get that water in your mouth.  You're not drinking that water are you!?"  I was the water Nazi .  Take no chances.  Drink no water.  Eat no ice.  Drink no fountain sodas.  All of them are guaranteed to bring you a bad case of the green apple trots.  We had two bathrooms in our hotel and on one occasion I realized that Michael had been in the bathroom for a VERY LONG time.  As I rounded the corner, I could hear the shower water running and could see that the steam was starting to billow out the crack of the slightly opened door.  Unlike other shower nightmares where the kids had taken down the hand nozzle and sprayed the water UP and OVER the gap at the top of the glass shower door and were screeching with delight at all of the fun they were having.  This time it was different.  It was far too quiet in that shower and what I wasn't prepared for was what my poor little eyes encountered in the next moment.  I swung the door open and you'd think after all of my water worries and constant lecturing about aqua vigilance...what do I behold but Michael laying FACE DOWN on the shower floor!  For those of you that your mind instantly shifts to horror and "Oh no!  What was wrong with him!?"  OH NO!  There was absolutely NOTHING wrong with him.  The little heedless, imprudent, negligent and thoughtless TERD was RELAXING on the SHOWER FLOOR!!  (Prone, mind you!  EWWWW!)

Yep!  Found him just like my friend, Pinocchio here (and nope, I ain't lyin')

I'm tellin' ya, he was soooo relaxed and for all I know, he might have even been sleeping?!  He was definitely "Chillin' Like a Villain!"  Well, that is until I surprised the snot out of him and turned into "Manic Mom" squealing out a million "What were you thinking?!"  "Why!?"  "Seriously, are you kidding me?!  GET UP!!!!!  If you shouldn't get that water in your nose... mouth.... eyes....what makes you think that laying
 BUCK NECKID on the shower floor would be a good idea?!" 

That's when I excused myself and assumed my own prone position......

 Oh man!  I love ya, Mikey!  But Momma just lost her lunch!

D I S G U S T I N G !!!!!!

As my Mom used to say, "Why Mother's Turn Grey!"  I definitely gained a couple more "sparkly ladies" that day! ;0)